Update.

So I've been slacking majorly from this. The past few weeks have kicked my butt, literally. After showing the CT enterography and bloodwork to my regular GI, he was optimistic. Optimistic about me having Crohn's, an Incurable disease? No, optimistic that I have a recomfirmed diagnosis. The past two years, or well much longer thinking back, I have been having the symptoms of the disease. It is common in Crohn's for the symptoms to manifest even years before the pathological onset of the disease. For me, the Crohn's has presented itself on and off through the past two years, but has gotten progressively worse over time, not to mention that I've gone through bouts with no treatment.

I have Crohn's, and will for life. It is slowly damaging my gastrointestinal tract, and now other parts of my body. My joints are continuously swollen, hot and painful. My rheumatologist says I have the beginnings of osteoarthritis at 24. I have zero energy, and am having difficulty staying nourished. My liver has grown to double its size due to inflammation, and I now have a form of Fatty Liver Disease. We are not sure if it is from my steroid use, or Crohn's, since both contribute to the change in cells. My greatest worry is that the damage is permenant, but I am staying hopeful it is not. I am just worried since my liver is poorly functioning from it, leaving my body even more ill. I just feel sick. Like the feeling when the flu is coming and you don't want to leave bed.

Right now my Crohn's is poorly controlled on Asacol HD. Steroids worked for a time, but between my liver and psychological changes I had to stop taking them. The next two classes of drugs, whether it be biologics or immunomodulators, all cause liver toxicity and would put my liver under further stress. At the same time, without having a method to control the inflammation of my Crohn's, my body is suffering even more so. It's a sticky situation.

Dr.C, my regular Gastro who I will be continuing my care with, wants to do another colonoscopy and a push endoscopy, in three weeks. The CT showed severe issues at my ileum, and he wants to see just how bad it is, and while at it, check as much as he can to see the extent of inflammation. This will be my third duel colonoscopy/endoscopy this calendar year, fourth duel within the past 12 months and my fifth endoscopy within the past 20 months.

Thank God for amazing insurance. My life has been put on hold. I will continue to live with my mom until I can get a handle on this disease. My work has been extremely limited, and god forbid I need to take time off, the financial burden is greatly lifted. I'm in a holding pattern, watching my peers and friends around me, have real jobs, their own places, get married and have kids. I on the other hand can barely get out of bed in the morning, and take care of myself let alone thinking about others. This disease is more then just a physical set back, it is taking every ounce of my courage to continue to keep going.

It's terrible to admit, but in dire times, I have wished why couldn't this be cancer, at least with most cancers there are tons of treatment options, and hell now in days it's even glamorous. Hollywood has made it acceptable to have cancer. It sounds so ridiculous. Thousands of people across the nation support the cause for cancer reasearch education fundraisers and support. Crohn's is a unglamorous disease, with no cure, few treatment options, and zero public awareness. I feel so ungrateful writing that. Almost every single adult in this country has donated at least 1$ to the cancer cause, whether it be breast cancer awareness month, Relay for Life, the American Cancer Society, Livestrong, the Susan G Komen foundation...and the list goes on. I am not trying to belittle cancer in any way or compare Crohn's and cancer. It bothers me though, that there is such little awareness of Crohn's disease. Maybe I am slightly jealous. People can relate to cancer, or least empathize. With Crohn's most people don't even know what the disease is, not to mention the full spectrum of the disease, I hope that when I am fully healthy, I can change this.i need to change this.