Took the second part of my loading dose of Humira, this past weekend, a couple of days early. I was at my mom's for an overnight visit, and wanted to inject with someone at home, in case I screwed up. I know this means I also majorly screwed up my schedule, but also wanted to change my injection day. The first injection was done on a Wednesday. The next two days at work (Thurs. and Fri.) I felt like death, and so run down. This time, I injected on Saturday, and felt like death Sunday and Monday. I'm hoping to adjust to Fridays, so I have the weekend to recoup. It's a tough decision... Do I really want to waste my weekend feeling like crap, or do I want to barely be able to function two days at work?
So far in two and a half weeks, I've lost ten pounds. Humira has yet to catch up with this flare. As my lovely GI once stated, I rather you live consistently a little chubby, so that during flares, you don't get deathly ill. I've been thankfully? Holding onto an extra 20 pounds from prednisone/Entocort, so I have something to lose.
The irony of the disease is never lost on me. The disease eats away at your core, your body literally fighting to survive. Then the steroids, which help your body, go above and beyond their duty and produce side effects that are worse then disease. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
Coworkers, friends and family constantly complimenting on how great you look, how much weight you lost, yet you barely have enough energy to stand up. "Wouldn't it be nice to lose weight that fast" or "I wish I had Crohn's to lose weight". WTF.
I will fight this. I will try harder, not to let this disease consume me, neither my body nor brain.
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