So after my fourth colonoscopy and fifth upper endoscopy, I am left with even more questions then answers. We are still waiting on the biopsy results, but from the initial view, the scopes looked to be clear, meaning no evident Crohn's disease. This so unbelievably frustrating. My white blood cell count and inflammatory markers are still way out of control, so there has to be inflammation somewhere in my body. My doctor now thinks I could have a rare immunodeficiency but we will have to do more testing. My next step is for my doctor to contact the Mayo clinic or the NIH for their rare/unknown/diagnosed diseases departments. My body is fighting something, and something terrible. I have severe joint pain and arthritis throughout my entire body, yet I've tested negative for sjogerns, lupus, rheumatoid arthritis. I tested positives for the Ana antibodies, though, which is a marker for autoimmune disease. My ast and alt levels are way above normal, and my liver is still grossly enlarged, and has become completely fatty. All of my bloodwork points to an autoimmune disease, it just doesn't fit into one category. I am so freaking frustrated. I can't live my life like this. I have ended up in the ER for pain and severe dehydration five times this year alone. I've had six different antibiotics to fight infection, yet since they don't know where the infection is in my body, it's a total crap shoot. I am so frustrated and its been severely wearing on my mental health, which is already fragile.

I had to change the name of my blog, for my life is truly uncertain at this time. Whether I do have crohns or not,where do I go from here, or when I will ever truly get out of this terrible holding pattern I call life. I see Dr. C Monday, going over the biopsies and additional testing he ordered. For now, I don't want to leave bed. I don't want to anything, I just don't know anymore.