I have feared when this day came, but it has come. This morning I experienced my first bloody bathroom episode. At this rate, I'm more embarrassed and mortified then scared. It is common, ugh, to have blood in stool with Crohn's. I guess I am just relieved that I was warned that this could happen. Chronic diseases are such rainbows and butterflies, barf. Crohn's and UC are possibly the least glamorous diseases of all time. Even with my friends I am hesitant to tell them my symptoms or how I am truly doing.
Like "oh hey how was your day today?.."
What I really want to say.."Well I woke up, almost shit myself before making it to the bathroom, then felt like a burning hot knife was sliced into my abdomen. Was so weak that I could barely get up off the couch, had another episode of explosive diarrhea then took a nap."
Instead, I say, "it was fine, rested a bit and watched some tv."
I am not fine, I am not okay. I am frustrated, and in so much pain, but I will keep a smile on my face, and I will make it to tomorrow.
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