This is going to be brief.
Today was the first time in two years that I have had an "accident". Well, I actually had two by 8pm. I'm not going to sugarcoat it any longer. I lost control of my bowels, and defecated on myself. Totally glamorous and totally sexy for a 25 year old girl.
In other words, I shit myself. Why am I being so brutally honest? Crohn's is not a sexy nor glamorous disease. Crohn's is a disease that takes away all dignity. People continually post on facebook pictures of mastectomy scars, and beautiful bald heads from chemo. On the other hand, I have seen in numerous groups on numerous posts of pictures of ostomy bags, of resection scars, comments that read "totally disgusting". I have friends who pictures of their ostomies get reported for vulgarity. It is heartbreaking and defeating to witness this on the internet. The stigma of bowel disease is unsettling I a time where typical over sharing is a-ok, and a social norm.
I want to help break this vicious cycle of embarrassment, of stigma, of hesitancy. I am Nicole, and today I had two accidents. I also went to the bathroom over 20 times, and managed to vomit twice. Crohn's may be winning at the present, but I'm not going down without a fight (and being brutally honest while doing so).
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