chronic pain

Let's face the facts. This girl (me) has lived through a traumatic brain injury. I've experienced broken bones (wrist, big toe, tibia, fingers), sprains, tendon/ligament issues, heck even a post TBI concussion. I'm no stranger in pain. I've been living with chronic migraines, nerve/contracture issues in my legs due to my TBI. In many ways, in a perfect metaphor, I've become numb to aches and pains of the physical sort...or so I thought.

Crohn's has made me re-think pain altogether. Two years ago, when the diagnosis first came about I realized how pain could suck the life out of you. In this most recent flare, I find myself sitting at my desk, or at meetings trying to hold on. The pain is so consuming. Not only is my pain located in the area of my guts where my Crohn's is (lower right quadrant), but due to lovely extra-intestinal manifestations of the disease, I also have severe pain in my joints. My inflammation travels quite quickly to my joints as soon as I flare. It attacked those joints where I have had issues with, like my legs, hips, ankles, and also joints that I at least don't remember hurting!

Early today I was eating sushi with chopsticks. I am usually so proud of my chopstick ability, but today, I could barely hold the sticks. I finally gave up. The swelling in my hands and fingers has become so severe the past few weeks, that I can barely hold a pen at work.

I'm hoping by the end of next week, I have my Humira in hand. From what research I have done, Humira also helps a lot with extra-intestinal inflammation especially in joints. I can only hope. I have never struggled so much at work, just to survive. I started a semi new position at my workplace earlier this month, right around the beginning of this flare. I feel awful for taking time off, and have been pushing myself even more because of the new position. It is taking the life out of me literally.